A Letter to a "Community"

   First I need to say, I am not an expert on the gay community. I don't claim to be an answer to a problem. This is just my letter to a community that I believe might have lost the way.

   I live in Omaha, NE and I love Omaha. Nebraska isn't the most gay friendly place on the planet. Some people claim we are going to be the last state to legalize gay marriage. I don't know about that. I do know that in this state you can be denied housing for being gay. It is also not illegal to reject service in a restaurant for being gay. While the gay marriage issue is a hot topic and many in the community complain about Nebraska, perhaps our community needs to fights some smaller fights first. (Again, I am not the answers. You may or may not agree with me. That is fine. Just please don't judge without looking inside yourself first.)

    While Nebraska is fairly red, Omaha is a very purple city.  Living in the most progressive city in Nebraska must have advantages for a gay community, yet so often I hear many people in the community complaining.  This isn't a letter to stop the complaints or to place blame. This is a letter in hopes of moving forward. Here are the steps I believe we need to take in order to achieve that goal.

1) Stop Blaming Omaha: Sure there are only three gay bars in Omaha, but that is three more than in Fremont, Nebraska City, Milford.... (you get the point) Omaha is the progressive Nebraska and you should be lucky that you live in this city. Does Omaha need some growing up? Yes! Is Omaha the best place for a LGBTQ person? Probably Not! But it is by far not the worst. There are many groups in Omaha to help. Some business are very gay friendly. Omaha is not the worst or the best. Omaha is Omaha!!!

2) Stop Blaming Other Gay People: You think someone is making a snide comment about you? Let them!!! You heard me correct. Let them!!! They are the sad person for trying to bring someone down. If you respond to them, well you are giving them attention. Since they are sad lonely people, they are trying to get attention anyway they can. Is this a hard thing to do? Yes, but these people must not win. I believe in people and I believe in Omaha.

and the most important thing. 

3) Stop Blaming Yourself: "No one will date me!" "I hate that there is nothing for me to do!" "The community judges me!" "The Community is very cliquish!" "I go out, but no one will ever talk to me!" If you have thought or said any of these things, then you are just really blaming yourself. Let me explain. You are what you make your day. If you wake up grumpy or unhappy and stay that way all day, than don't complain when someone doesn't want to be around you. We are the hardest on ourselves. Some might think they are unattractive because of their shape or the way they act. This is not true. The only thing that makes you unattractive is a negative attitude. Who wants to date someone that says all these negative comments. Is it hard to be positive? Yes!(get the theme yet) but the work will benefit you. I promise.  The first thing you have to do is stop blaming yourself and you will stop blaming others for being so called cliquish or shy.

I don't claim to know everything about the gay community. I do know this.... Why are we so willing to write each other off when we live in a state that is already doing that.  How do we expect a state to follow through when we don't do that ourselves. We have a duty. We live in the progressive city of Nebraska. It is our duty to start the change. To make sure no one gets denied service in any restaurant. To make sure that no one is oppressed about age, weight, height, or whatever. We have a duty. It is time to stop taking it out on each other and rise above. It is our duty. It is our right. It will be work, and I have faith in the city I love. We have a duty Omaha.